Worthiness and Deservability
Hello and welcome - I’m so pleased you are here.
Of all the blocks in our way of feeling good, our sense of what we’re actually Worthy and Deserving of is often a huge one! And it affects most of us on one level or another.
In a nutshell, how can you ‘let yourself have’ good things happen for you if, deep down, you don’t really believe you are worthy or deserving of them?
You conscious mind can tell you you are as worthy or deserving as any one else - but that’s only 10% of your mind. The truth is held much deeper in your sub-conscious mind.
If, deep down, you believe you are useless or not good enough, or that you don’t matter, or don’t count, or are wrong or inferior or similar - you wont be able to believe you are worthy or deserving of very much.
If, deep down, you believe you have to work hard in order to ‘have’, or that ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ or that you need to be perfect in order to earn your rewards, you wont believe you can have what you are truly worth and deserving of.
If you come from a strict family with lots of rules and boundaries, you wont be able to believe you are worth and deserving ‘unless’.
If you come from a poor family here you’ve learnt you can’t have very much, or a tough background so you believe life is hard or the world is a cold, uncaring place or similar - you wont be able to believe you can be worthy or deserving of very much.
On a scale of 1 - 10 (1 is low, 10 is high) truth be told, where are you right now? How Worthy and Deserving do you genuinely feel of having great things happen for you?
It’s not what you’re thinking that counts, it’s what your feelings are telling you. Where are you on that scale?
If it’s anything less than ’10’, that’s the journey to be made so that you can authentically allow yourself to receive all your good - be it ‘things’, friends, positive relationships, achievements or anything else!
Let’s start that journey here:
Firstly, I want you to realise it’s ok to feel Worthy and Deserving of great things and great people and great anything-else-you-want in your life. The reason it’s ok is because you were born worthy and deserving! Everyone is.
Think of a baby, born anywhere in the world. Is there a baby born anywhere who isn’t whole and perfect just as they are (even with limbs missing or whatever there’s still that internal perfection of their life!) Is there a baby born anywhere who isn’t worthy or deserving of positive experiences in life? Is there a baby born anywhere who isn’t good enough - or lovable?
You were a baby too and were born this way! Good Enough and Lovable. That’s the truth.
Whole and Perfect, Worthy and Deserving, Perfectly You were born Worthy and Deserving.
The problem is that we grow up in families with different messages - like we have to behave in certain ways or ‘be good’ to deserve and get punished when ‘we’re bad, or that we have to match up to expectations etc.
On top of that, we go to school and often learn that our worth is dependant on our grades or PE ability and so on. We learn that we only deserve the certificate or the ‘well done’ message when we’ve pleased the teacher.
We learn to compare and judge our world and ourselves. Depending on that judgement, we end up with beliefs about our world and ourselves that includes what we get to believe about our Worthiness & Deservability - which may then become a ‘1’ or ‘2’ on the scale instead of the ‘10’ we were born!
Whatever you have learnt, or done that you feel disallows your ‘10’, or however else you feel about yourself that disallows this, the truth is you were born Worthy and Deserving and still are.
It’s just a question of getting your belief back to that truth.
When you genuinely believe you are Worthy and Deserving, you will allow yourself to ‘let in’ more positive experiences.
You can start growing your sense of Worthiness and Deservability right now by using the power of your mind to help.
Our brain takes on board all the messages it gets and the most consistent ones become our beliefs. Albeit unconsciously much of the time, the negative messages you got that caused you to think “I’m only worth ‘3’ or ‘4’ or ‘1’ on the scale, became your belief.
If you now choose to tell yourself often enough that you’re the next number up on the scale - and then the next number up - and so on, you will gradually change your belief each time - growing your sense of Worthiness and Deservability until you’re a ’10’! And then ’10’ just expands and gets bigger and better . . .
It’s important that you tell yourself something that’s comfortable for you. If you are a ‘1’ on the scale and say “I am worthy and deserving of everything I want” it’s just going to feel an empty wish. Whereas something like “I am willing to allow myself to get back to the truth that I am Worthy and Deserving and can have nice things happen” that might feel a bit more ‘true’ right now.
What would feel right for you from where you are on the scale?
Examples could be:
“I am willing to allow myself to feel more Worthy and Deserving”
“I allow myself to let in more of what I want because I was born Worthy and Deserving of this” “I am willing to let myself believe I am Worthy and Deserving and to ‘let in’ all my good”
Choose something that feels like it really hits the spot for you and then say it over and over, as many times as you can in a day.
How long do you think it might take to start making difference?
Suppose you had to say it as many as 1000 times before you noticed that things were showing up in your life different to before . . . if you said your sentence 10 times a day, that would take just over 3 months. If you said it 20 times a day, that would take less than 2 months. If you said it 30 times a day . . . It really can be much quicker to make positive change than you might have realised.
The important thing here is to FEEL what you are saying too. If you are saying it with your voice (or in your head) but you’re feeling it’s a lie, it wont have the desired effect. You need to say it with conviction and feel it too. Practise will make it easier!
You can also help by saying “I am Worthy & Deserving of that” every time even the tiniest ‘good’ thing happens - like if someone smiles at you, or if you get a good grade at school, or if you end up first in the queue, or enjoy a lesson, or get some praise from someone.
Instead of being neutral about it, or shrinking from it, respond with a ‘thank you’ if appropriate and then immediately say to yourself, with enthusiasm, “I am Worthy and Deserving of that!”
The truth is that it doesn’t matter whether it’s a ‘big thing’ or a ‘small thing’ that we’re acknowledging. That’s just our judgement again! As long as you are focused on being Worthy and Deserving you are in that groove and that’s all that matters.
The more you go though your day looking for the times you can say “I’m worthy ad Deserving of that” over positive things, the quicker and easier it will be to move up that scale.
And if ‘something bad’ happens, instead of giving that attention, just say to yourself “Isn’t it good I’m working on my Worthiness and Deservability so I can let more good things happen in future!