Where do you give your power?

The biggest blocks to our well-being are undoubtedly the negative things we have taken on board as truths about ourselves and our world.

That’s not to blame our environment or influential people around us; it’s just how it is. If we grow up surrounded by fear or anger we will inevitably have a different perspective on life and ourselves than if we’d grown up surrounded by meaningful love and positive emotional support.

The question is whether we want to keep giving our power to the negatives we’ve learned or whether we want to choose to become aware of all that does not serve us and make conscious change.

Most people would say they would want to make the conscious change. Yet the burning question is HOW? If your life has been about not feeling good enough, rejection, or other ‘less than’ feelings, how can this be changed? Surely the truth is you have had your experiences and you have all the evidence to justify your thoughts and feelings and beliefs. End of.

This is often the route to depression. When we only look at ‘what has been’ for evidence of our thoughts and feelings about ourselves or the challenging situation we are in, we are effectively engaging our right prefrontal cortex in our brain. This just stores all this evidential data and uses it for future reference to help us protect ourselves in similar situations. We essentially just stay stuck.

Our breakthrough comes in realising if we keep focusing on ‘what has been’ we can only keep perpetuating the same. Our salvation comes in focusing instead on what we DO want. This engages our left prefrontal cortex. The part of our brain that has evolved over the last 1.7 million years on that left hand side is phenomenal! It is positive and has a vast resource of all our answers and solutions and best of all, it is an intellect in itself, so

can discover these for us! For example, when you wake up with some brainwave to solve something.

So the bottom line is if you want to stop the rot and misery of feeling powerless, just observing all that you don’t like or doesn’t serve you, you have to stop living now from the space of what has gone before and start living life from the space of what you want to create.

Even if you have been devastated by bereavement, what is it you want to feel? Acceptance and peace?

If you’ve lost your job or have other financial difficulties, what do you want? To find a new job that is more fulfilling and pays better? To feel financially secure?

If you have relationship problems, what do you want? (This doesn’t include wanting the other person to be different! That’s not your prerogative or within your power).
To feel loved? To have harmony? To stand up for yourself?

If you are swamped with negative self-feelings such as you don’t feel good enough, lack self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem or just constantly beat yourself up, how would you want to feel? Write a list and add to it each time something comes to mind.

Of course there will be all the immediate objections and obstacles that pop up in your mind to the ‘reality’ of this. The point is you can’t move forward looking back. You have to start painting the pictures of where you want to go in order to be able to get there.

What blocks in your mind would you need to shift to allow yourself to have, be or do this? Dissolving these is what makes a wish or something that feels just fantasy become possible and then manifest.

You don’t need to know how. You just need the willingness and commitment so you connect with your left prefrontal cortex and let your incredible evolved part of your brain start finding your solutions!

What could you choose to breakthrough on? Which area of your life would it serve you to specifically look at ‘what you DO want’ instead of looking at ‘how it’s been’?

Imagine if this were your reality, what difference would it make?

About The Author

Demi Schneider

- DHP HPD SFBT(Dip) GQHP MNCP AfSFH - Clinical Hypnotherapist & Psychotherapist - Metaphysical Life Coach - Solution Focused Brief Therapist - Founder & Facilitator of Depression Busting Courses - Author of “Beat Your Depression For Good”