What is your biggest fear?

Fear can be such a big block to our lives! Common fears include:

* Of being alone

* Of not having enough money

* Of not being good enough

* Of old age

* Of the unknown

* Of having poor health

* Of not feeling in control

Yet when we really ask ourselves what it is that we’re afraid of, isn’t it really just we have a doubt we can handle these things? Or a belief we can’t?

Yet, in truth, when we are faced with challenges, don’t we generally, somehow, get through them? Isn’t the real issue about how well we handle them, if or when they arise?

This is where we can start to take back our own power just by realising this is something we can be in charge of!

In your brain you have a part that is about survival and has no capacity to move forward. This is the part where anxiety and depression lives. You also have a part where you are positive, have answers and solutions and can achieve. This is where empowerment and command lives.

Would you rather address your fear from the point of helplessness or from the point of power?

The more energy you give your fear the more it will grow. The key is to accept fear will always be with us and that is ok. When we accept fear as part of life we immediately neutralise any negative energy attached and, from that free space, we can then authentically focus on how we’re going to deal with it.

If you’re trying to deal with something that’s fearful, and still giving your fear the power, it will be an uphill struggle. Even if there’s a looming threat of danger in your life now, so that your limbic system is staying on the alert ready to react, giving your power to the problem will just feed it. Acceptance means you stop giving that your energy and are free to give all your energy to the solution.

To engage the empowered, in command part of your brain, think of your fear and say 10 times (preferably out loud) “I can handle it”.

If we say or believe we ‘can’t’ our brain wont bother to expend the energy on what it perceives to be a futile effort. When we tell ourselves we ‘can’, with real focus and determination, our anterior cingulate gyrus comes on board to help us achieve what we want.

As Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right”.

Never underestimate the power of your thoughts and words.

I love the exercise in Susan Jeffers’ excellent book “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway” to graphically demonstrate this and use it often. I ask clients to stand with their arm outstretched to the side whilst I lightly ‘bounce’ on it with my hand to get a ‘control level’ of comfortable resistance from them. I then have them put their arm down and say out loud, 10 times, whilst really buying into what they’re saying, “I am weak and unworthy”. When they extend their arm out again they have no resistance to me ‘bouncing’ on it as before. Their arm is all weak and floppy! I then have them put their arm down and say out loud, 10 times, whilst really buying into the feeling, “I am strong and powerful”. When they extend their arm out again it is rock solid and I can’t budge it even when pushing down hard with both hands! And that’s after just 10 times! Imagine what we’re doing to ourselves physically as well as mentally when we’re sending down all those thousands of negative thoughts! Clients are always amazed at how quick and profound the effect is.

When you have engaged your empowered mind by saying “I can handle it” 10 times (or more!), paint the pictures in your mind of your ideal scenario; not as in ‘fixing the problem’ but genuinely how you want to see yourself in any given situation. Then focus on finding the way forward to achieve that.

What would serve you to empower yourself to handle today?

Let me know if this blog has been helpful towards doing that………

P.S. Next time I’ll write about 2 other common fears – failure and death.

About The Author

Demi Schneider

- DHP HPD SFBT(Dip) GQHP MNCP AfSFH - Clinical Hypnotherapist & Psychotherapist - Metaphysical Life Coach - Solution Focused Brief Therapist - Founder & Facilitator of Depression Busting Courses - Author of “Beat Your Depression For Good”