Stop Caring About What Other People Think
Hi, tell me, do you get bogged down by what other people think about you?
Then you are in the right place!
The truth is that some of us are naturally more hard-wired and aren’t affected at all by other people’s opinions, whilst others of us are much more sensitive and care deeply what others think; for many underlying reasons.
The problem is that when we give our power to others in this way, we diminish ourselves! What we are really saying is that their opinion is more important than our own inner knowing. And it often causes us to make decisions or even live lives that are about pleasing other people rather than pleasing ourselves - or aligning with our own truth - which can also lead to resentment and bitterness and eventually ill health.
So how can you stop being one of those people who cares what other people think, when you just naturally do?
The solution is to take back your own power and remember that you count too. So lets work on that for you here.
First, let’s look a bit deeper about why you care - because that varies according to your personality type. Is it because you are looking for approval - or validation - or to feel good enough - or to feel safe - or recognised - or acceptable - or to fit in? What is it for you?
I want you to know now other people can never truly give you these. Others can never give you the feelings you want for more than a brief time at best, because you’ll need the approval or validation or acceptance, or to feel good enough or the sense of security or to fit in etc etc again next week - and the next!
Caring about what other people think of you keeps you trapped in a place where ultimately you can only become weaker and more needy.
So instead, let’s look at things from another perspective: suppose you valued yourself enough and felt good enough to trust your own judgements and be comfortable with them regardless of what other people think?
Suppose you had the courage to choose to live your life for you instead of for others’ approval? After all, who the hell are they anyway?
Suppose you could see yourself standing on your own two feet, calm and confident and able to look someone in the eye and say “I appreciate you have different thoughts or viewpoint. I respect that. This is my life and the choice that feels right for me right now and I hope you’ll be able to respect that. I am choosing what feels right for me.”
That’s reasonable isn’t it? You’re worth that, aren’t you? So what makes it such a big gap from where you are to being able to take ownership of this very reasonable statement?
The chances are you have a deep underlying fear . . . so what do you feel your underlying fear is?
Is it of being wrong, not feeling loved, not being valued, of feeling rejected, not feeling safe, of feeling vulnerable, or feeling separated? Something else? There is invariably an underlying fear when we care about what others think of us - what is that fear for you?
If you know or can work it out, that’s great. If you’re not sure it doesn’t matter . . . you can do this mind shift process anyway: just say, out loud if you can, or just repeat it in your mind:
I used to care what others think more than what I think.
I now realise this is not being true to myself and just gives other people my power.
I now realise that it doesn’t matter how caring or sensitive or unsure I am I can still be true to my own integrity. I now realise it is up to me to learn to trust myself;
after all, I am the only person who can live my life or have my feelings.
I now realise my views are just as valid as anyone else’s and if they feel right for me that’s good enough. It is my job to take back my power and value myself, knowing that I count too.
I now choose to respect myself and my own views.
I now choose to work on my self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem; I deserve this.
I used to care what others thought about me,
yet I now realise that I need no longer think that I am responsible for how other people feel about me. Other people’s opinion of me is none of my business.
I also realise that I do not have to care when someone criticises me either. What right do they have to put me down? I now realise no one out there can make me feel anything unless I let them.
It is up to me to feel everything that I feel. I now choose to be accountable for how I respond and how I treat others, respecting they may have different values or needs. I accept everyone is their own person, including myself.
I now choose to lay down all judgement of others, knowing they are free to be as they wish too.
By stopping all judgement I can allow myself to be more self-accepting.
The more self acceptance I have, the more self-regard and self-trust I have to value myself and my own opinion and choices, regardless of others views.
I lay down all need to care what others think of me, or my choices, or my life. I am here for me, not them. I forgive myself for having held on to my old ways of thinking for so long.
I now choose to value myself and allow myself to be in this new space now!
It is done.
You may need to read this over and over till it sinks in and you absorb it, but even if you have to go over it 100 times, at once a day that would be 100 days - just over 3 months . . .and you would have changed that pattern forever!