Loving Yourself…..

Does this concept appeal to you, resonate as something you’ve been working on, have you running in the opposite direction, seem a million miles off, or just feel downright wrong?

It is amazing how 2 simple innocent words can inspire such diverse reaction.

What does Loving Yourself really mean?  And how can we achieve it?

Loving yourself is to come home to your true self in your source and soul, where you absolutely believe in who you are, live in full acceptance and joy of being you, embracing the precious gift that is your life.  From this space you can ride on the crest of life’s wave feeling the full joy of living. It is the route to lasting happiness and feeling good every day just because you are alive!

Love is the greatest emotional power we have.  Let’s understand I am not talking about arrogance in “I love myself”.  Arrogance is a disguise for not feeling good enough.  I am talking about truly acknowledging and valuing the magnificence of who you are.

So, how do you achieve this?  Loving yourself is not about external things that can produce this on-going sense of inner peace and joy.  It has to come from within.

You can Love Yourself just because you exist. Realise the truth that you are a miraculous expression of life.  Appreciate the miracle that you are!  Is there any baby born, anywhere in the world, who isn’t lovable, worthy and deserving of a good life and good enough exactly as they are?  No.  You were a baby once too.

They may very soon learn differently but the truth remains: being born was all it took to be lovable, worthy, deserving and good enough.  Similarly, no matter what you have learned to believe to the contrary, that’s your birthright too.

Your choice now is whether to give your power to your birthright space or to give your power to the false negatives you’ve learned since.

How much do you deeply feel you love yourself right now?

If on a scale of 1 – 10 you only feel ‘2’ out of 10 worthy or lovable, how can you allow yourself to feel good if you can see it’s logical and beneficial?  It doesn’t match the “I’m unworthy/unlovable” ‘2’ belief you have.

If you need external approval to feel good enough, even if someone gives it to you this week you will need it again next week and the next.  It will never satisfy you and you will move the goal posts.

Even if someone approves of you ‘10’ out of 10, if you only believe you’re a ‘2’, you wont be able to let it in and believe them.  You’ll find yourself saying “He can’t really mean that” or “Oh, she’s only saying that to be nice”.  You need to approve of yourself ’10’ out of 10 so you can receive on that level.

If you feel you can only accept yourself ‘2’ out of 10 (deep inside, not what your head might tell you), it means that is all you can receive, or indeed, authentically give.

If you only Love Yourself ‘2’ out of 10, no matter how loving a person you may believe yourself to be, the truth is that all you can give authentically is ‘2’ out of 10 because you cannot give what doesn’t ‘pattern match’ within.  And conversely of course, you can only authentically let in a ‘2’ level of love.

This also applies to religious people; how can you receive God’s love if you don’t feel worthy of being loved?  How can you feel worthy of being loved if you don’t Love Yourself enough to be able to receive it in?  It’s the same with all relationships.

No one can love you enough if you don’t know how to receive their love and you can never love someone else enough if they don’t know how to receive your love.

The wonderful thing about Loving Ourselves is that it turns all these around!  For example, if you have deservability issues about being lovable or loved, when you Love Yourself you are proving you are deserving of love.  And when you Love Yourself you can receive love!  You don’t have to be perfect to be lovable.  Who is?  And who decides what’s ‘good enough’ or ‘perfect’ anyway?

You could choose to say “It doesn’t matter whether I believe I am deserving of love – I allow myself to love myself anyway” because being loved is your birthright!

In addition, by Loving Yourself you will have increased the level of love in the world.  Everyone gains when you Love Yourself.

However impossible and far away it might feel now, remember it is the only coming home to your real self, the ‘uncorrupted self’ that you were born.

Just be willing to allow yourself and the way will be shown…….


Do share with me your thoughts and comments or what you feel your biggest block is.

About The Author

Demi Schneider

- DHP HPD SFBT(Dip) GQHP MNCP AfSFH - Clinical Hypnotherapist & Psychotherapist - Metaphysical Life Coach - Solution Focused Brief Therapist - Founder & Facilitator of Depression Busting Courses - Author of “Beat Your Depression For Good”