How to Like Yourself
It’s crazy isn’t it? We long to be liked yet often have such a hard time liking our selves!
How can we expect anyone else to like us if we don’t like our self?
We invariably just get to be more and more needy for people’s acceptance and approval and to feel we belong so that we can feel we’re worth liking. And that never works!
If we are needing to feel accepted and liked before we can accept and like ourselves, how can we really believe we’re worth being accepted and liked - even if other people do! We wont believe it and will keep needing or pushing for more, to try to prove it to ourselves.
It’s the same with wanting to feel secure, or wanted, or valued, or appreciated. Unless we can feel these for ourselves first, we wont be able to agree with other people and receive their assurances or even actions as authentic. We’ll find ourselves thinking “Oh, they’re just being nice” or “They’re always like that to everyone” or “They just want something” and inadvertently completely discount the approval we’re actually craving! Or even if we buy into it at that time - what about tomorrow, or next week or next month? We’ll need it again - and again.
This is very tied up with self-worth and confidence and feeling good about you, so do read those Topics too, but here we can address things from another perspective.
If you like someone, how do you act towards them? If you like someone are you:
unkind to them? critical of them? disapproving of them? untrusting of them?
thinking they’re not good enough? convinced they’re not worth very much?
If you were that way, would they believe you liked them? I doubt it!
Yet how often are you this way with your self? What messages are you giving to yourself?
No wonder you don’t feel liked if you are treating yourself this way!
If you want to start liking yourself you need to start treating yourself as if you liked yourself!
If you keep being unkind, critical, disapproving, untrusting, feeling not good enough and not worth very much, how can it ever be different?
Choose now to treat yourself as if you were your own best friend. Choose to treat yourself just as well and with just as much respect and regard as you would someone you really thought the world of. If you haven’t got anyone like that in your life, just imagine it! The power of the mind is such that what you focus on will actually materialise if you allow it!
How different would that now look? What would you be saying to yourself? How would you regard yourself? How would you behave with yourself?
The simple truth is that the more you treat yourself with respect, regard, appreciation, care and kindness, the more you will value yourself and like yourself.
So, how could you treat yourself better? Here are 20 ways to can start putting into action:
- be kind to yourself
- be gentle and patient with yourself
- be willing to encourage yourself and support yourself
- praise yourself - (yes really! Say “Well done me” as often as possible - even for something tiny)
- accept others exactly as they are and accept yourself exactly as you are
- approve of yourself and allow yourself to feel any approval you receive
- know that you’re good enough just because you exist - you were born good enough
- choose thoughts that make you feel a little bit better rather than little bit worse
- know you’re doing the best you can
- stop caring what others think and concentrate on you feeling good about you
- leave ‘friends’ who don’t match up to your values
- trust you can handle things
- know you’re worth liking - and loving!
- make positive choices for yourself
- say “I am likeable and I am willing to Like Myself” - even if it feels silly or uncomfortable at first
- know you count too and choose to do positive things that make you happy, whatever your limitations
- know you have lots to give to others and the world that’s of value
- choose to respect and value your body, giving it nourishing food and drink rather than fast food, fizzy drinks or harmful chemicals
- guide yourself through your whole day asking the question “Is this an act of Liking Myself?” or “What would be an act of Liking Myself right now?”
- spend time learning these so you can put them into practise more easily!
Most of all, know that you didn’t get to the point of not liking yourself overnight and you wont get to be liking yourself ’10 out of 10’ overnight. However, if you focus on becoming your own best friend and treating yourself well, you’ll get there a whole lot quicker - and every day will feel that bit better because you will be moving in the right direction.
If you are doing well for a while and then ‘have a bad day’ and go back to treating yourself badly, just say sorry to yourself and forgive yourself - just as you would someone you really cared about.
Nothing has any power unless we give it power so choose to focus on what you do that is towards liking yourself and let anything else go. What you focus on grows and putting your attention to growing in Liking Yourself is treating yourself well!